Coulas and the cement galoshes

Good day to you fans of the WMSPL!  Scoops Jockovitch here,  intrepid sports reporter doing more work these last few games than any other cryogenically should. Walt Disney is a lazy SOB I can tell you that, his head just floats there like a balloon on the breeze with a stupid grin and that pimp moustache.

Chips should be returning after his extended “ vacation” and hopefully the issues with the Paraguayan adoption officials has be ironed out. I personally see no issue in a man Chips age adopting. Granted I do believe Pepe is 22, but as everyone, especially me knows, everyone needs a loving Papa. So, we look forward to Pepe’s Papas return to the Recap!

Needless to say last nights game had a bit of everything!

Hits, misses, overthrows, under throws, unhealthy co-dependant relationships, child labour and a dancing monkey made an ever so brief appearance!

That's right Bingo, our favourite dancing Monkey, started the game warming up his little banana scented accordion as the Storm defence bumbled and fumbled. The Cereal Man made  a Boo-berry by being overly aggressive on a short flyball allowing a triple. Jospeh J Pilkey joined the Monkey dance by proving Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes correct “ White Men can’t Jump” by coming up short on a low line drive. Luckily Bingo needed a smoke and the Storm D adjusted slightly,  allowing The Spinal Manipulators only a deuce.

Offence-wise the boys in Orange needed no re-alignment, plating the max of 6, highlighted by The Alcoholic Fishmongers timely walk and a series of 2 baggers by the Illegal Alien ( his balls kept sneaking under the fence), Captain Underpants, The General and The Ottaman Emperor.  Storm up 6-2

The 2nd Inning had the Crackas offence suffer a subluxation scoring nil. Meanwhile Big Daddy D transmogrified into Elmer Fudd  “ Be vewy, vewy quiet, I’m hunting pitchers” with one of his many line shots up the middle. The FishMonger of the Prairies spanked a moonshot to centre and the Beam actually had a homer count for once. In other news The SS ( the Smoking Southie, not those nattily attired Nazis) proved fleet of foot beating out an infield hit ( the irony of his fleet feet will soon be illustrated) Storm remain in front 12-2

Top of 3 saw an adjustment of the C3 with the boys in Red scoring a single, possibly due to the SS being threatened by the mafia. A soft liner was hit down the 1st base line into the feet of the SS. Having issues actually seeing his feet, he danced a quick Irish jig before his feet (seemingly encased in cement galoshes) caused him to fall to the ground in a controlled manner. Not one give up an out easily, he crawled like a two legged salamander and slam dunked his glove ( ball included) onto the base to record the out! A perfectly drawn up play if you ask me! 

On a side note a  seriously co-dependant relationship was forming within the Storms batting order. Its seems that if The Missing Link gets on the the Illegal Alien gets a hit. If the Link is out then The Alien gets out. The couple recognizes their issues and are currently seeking therapy.

End of 3 and the Orange have a 15-3 lead

The 4th and 5th were uneventful for the Coccyx Manipulators other than the fact that everyone became aware of the Child labour they employ to retrieve foul balls. These two intrepid lads were fleet of foot, so much so, that entry level contracts were being drawn up.

Limited as they were to the 2 homer’s earlier the Cloudy Boyz ( like Bingo on his brothers fleas) nibbled away with singles and doubles, only to be out done by Elmers only non life threatening hit, a triple to deep right. 

This lead to an even more uneventful 6th with Team Thoracic plating none whilst the Pylons did their best to get to the drinking circle ASAP.

Make the final 21-3 for the your Presidential Porn Mistresses  ( that joke may have reached its statute of limitations)

This is Scoops Jokovitch Intrepid Sports reporter.

Check out the Podcast of the game as reported by;

Scoops Jockovitch

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
Coulas	2	0	1	0	0	0	0	3
Storm	6	6	3	4	2	0	x	21

The Captain and Mr. Magoo

Good day sports fans Scoops Jockovitch here, intrepid sports reporter once again having to take things into my own hands, just like my 3rd honeymoon. Chip remains an AHole, er sorry AWOL supposedly his absence has something to do with an illegitimate child named Pépé.

It was a muggy manic Monday... side note: did you know Prince wrote that song? Freaking musical genius! yet I digress. 

On a day like today many people would say it’s not the heat it's the Hanet that gets to you. And indeed  our faithful Stormies faced off against the recently attendancely challenged squad.

Granted the Orange bench was like my dock, short and challenged in strong winds…yes I said dock.

The first inning saw the teams face of 8 v 8 as some team members haven’t quite learned how to read yet,  moron that later.

The Polymerics scored 3, whilst the Occluded Fronts tallied a Geese a laying ( too soon for Christmas puns?)   the foreshadowed highlight here being that The Cereal Man-General Mills cashed in his Lucky Charms by hitting both a triple and a double in the inning- Score 6-3 Storm

Just in time for the top of the second, a stray player wondered in blindly off the street, he gathered a glove and some poorly chosen coloured shoes and took the field for the Stormies. This slightly more hairy Mr. Magoo would help round out the 9 the Storm needed.

Those Malleable Men of Hanet scored a single run while the Storm plated a deuce with absolutely no help from Mr Magoo who through squinted eyes popped up to the Hanet catcher, who ( suspicious in orange) seemed a little too pleased with himself.  - Storm 8 Hanet 4

In the 3rd  the Thermosetting Polymers were kick saved and beauty shut out ,while the Storm removed their mittens to count a  fin,  with The General adding a HR to his bowl of Trix. The lowlight once again centered on Mr Magoo, now adorned in actual athletic wear hit a ball 8 ft farther than his previous, only to be foiled by the fishnet hands of one Joseph J Pilkey. 13-4 for the Storm

The 4th Saw ( not a great movie by the way, the first Saw was much better) those lads of high molecular weight plate my social status ( no matter how much I swipe) with the Pylons ‘d’orange adding on the allowed 6. However a rarely seen phenomenon was starting to take shape. The Usually dependable Captain Underpants, Master of the Mound, Usurper of the underhand was starting to miss the plate, (and by plate I mean large 2x4 plywood plank) and giving up walks! Was he trying to gauge the winds? Was the barometric pressure too much for him? Stay tuned! Meanwhile, the Storm said Cheerio to the Cereal Man as he finished his pursuit of the cycle with a Kelly Gruber like double that he turned into the single he needed.

Top of the 5th and the deluge to our oceans once again scored a cardinal number indicating the absence of any or all units under consideration ( Never say Uncles Scoops doesn’t teach you nothing kids!)

The Home team had a menage a trois at the plate with Big Daddy D giving a spank to the fence top for a ricochet  HR -Whilst the Beam continues to pound the ball at inappropriate times ( like a 14yr old me at my cousins wedding) Storm leading 22-5

One would think after reading all of the aforementioned that his game was home and cooled out for our Tangerine Dreamers but no. The top of the 6th saw those Moldable Ones step to the plate multiple times and extrude a multitude of runs. Bingo, the dancing monkey who arrives whenever the Storms defence gets bananas started to show up and crank his little accordion and dance a happy chaotic monkey dance all over the field. The Storms left fielder seemed to have brought his work to the game as there seemed to be a paint shaker in his hands whenever he had to handle the ball, while ( as many of our senior players can relate to) balls were dropping everywhere. The Plastics scored an impressive Stranger Things main character, to make the game a closer one.

The Citrus led off their half of the inning with a seeing eyed solo HR by Mr. Magoo who was probably actually swatting at a mosquito. Storm up 26-16

With 2 minutes left the Synthetic Boys ABSOLUTELY had to hit…and just like when I went missing for 3 days on the Appalachian trail…Nobody cared.

Make the final 26-16

Check out the Podcast of the game as reported by;

Scoops Jockovitch

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
Hanet	3	1	0	1	0	11	0	16
Storm	6	2	5	6	3	4	x	26

The Cowboy and the Jinx

 Scoops Jockovitch here with the latest and meh-ists of your boys in Orange!

It was with a very short if non-existent bench that the Stormies faced off with, gosh darn it,  the most funnest bunch of lagerheads in the WMSPL the Crew that Brews. What do they Brew you ask? A darn good time, I say!

The Cloudy Boyz infield was like my second honeymoon …people in being put into positions they are not comfortable with.

With outfielders at short and Second and second on third it was an Abbot and Costello routine if Abbot and Costello were middle aged out of shape white guys…oh wait! They were.

With their entertaining musical ways the Yeastie Boys fought for their right to score zero in the 1st whilst, the Orangemen scored a thumbless hand with Big Poppa D leading off only to be forced out at second by a weak infield hit by the Missing Link. Luckily the Lancerbeam, The Grand Kevin , Captain Underpants all got hits with Young Southie going DEEEP- Score after 1 4-0 storm

The Draftsmen pulled a single pint in the 2nd while the Occluded Front began to struggle going 3 up 3 down on 4 pitches in the second - 4-1 Storm

Norm Petersons favourite team was equally blanked  in their part of the third by the pinpoint accuracy or the darts being thrown by Captain Underpants.

Having been forced out in the 1st inning Big Daddy D made it his mission to have the Missing Link perform his least favourite thing ( other than bathe) and that is to lead off innings. However, through pure sacrificial virginal goat luck he ( like me on a Thursday night swiping right) started off a streak of 5 singles in a row, all ( unlike me on a Thursday night) scored. With BDD ending the inning to torture the poor ML once again. - End of 3 - Storm up 9-2

The 4th would see the BC get some hops and plate 2 despite some sparkling D by the hodge podge Storm D. Young Southie made a highlite reel catch over his shoulder in shallow left and Millz  ( the Z stand s for Zoom!) made the first of two shoestring catches in right right centre ( because he can)

Offensively the 4th was pretty offensive with The Hommes d’Orange deciding to see how short their pop-ups could be. To the catcher, to the pitcher… known here to fore as a Pulling a Cowboy. Luckily the star of 127 Days hit a solid 2 bagger and score with a Captain Underpants single - Storm leading by a Smoky and the Bandit 10-4

The Opening innings beckoned as the Men of the Amber Nectar added another 3 to their tally spanking shots down the third baseline nearly waking up the Storm 3rd basemen, luckily he remained happily slumbering away.

Stormies plated 6 despite the Lancerbeams league leading out by HR due to Big Daddy D growing weary of torturing the Link with a lead off satellite.

Going into the 6 the the Pylons had  (one would think) a commanding lead of 16-5

Anyone smell foreshadowing or is that fresh bread doctor?

The defensive monkey started his usual dance in the top of the 6th with the Young Southie proving there are 2 sides to even coin by playing some soccer with a softball. The comatose 3rd baseman somehow decided to do a Mike Palmetter impression having a kick save and a beauty  to stop a ball. Millz used his shoestrings again and almost doubled up the runner at first if not for the mysterious hole filled glove of The Chimney. All this to be capped of by some more footie at second base by the wonderful dance duo of YS and the Beam.

The AleHeads scored another 3 while shutting out the Storm going into the 7th - Storm up 16-8 

This score led the Captain to state that he had never finished an 8pm game before nightfall. 

Cue the Jinx!

The Crew of Brew tapped into something special for their half of the 7th scoring a Dick van Patten 8 to tie the score at 16. What would the Storm do? Could they pull defeat out from the jaws of victory? Would they become just another victim of The Cowboy? Is their 3rd baseman even breathing?

These questions were answered by the man who  always comes in hard to third leading off with a single, only to be followed up by 2 quick outs. Luckily the Shoestring man can also hit as he punched a double to the gap causing the second oldest man on the Storm to score from first! 

After the use of a defibrillator and some really unnecessary mouth to mouth the lads we love scraped victory out 17-16.

*** On a side note - this game scored more runs that the last Storm game and yet was finished faster?  It reAlly mAkes you think whAt could be the cAuse of the some of these slow pAced gAmes?

This is Scoops Jockovitch intrepid sports reporter

Check out the Podcast of the game as reported by;

Scoops Jockovitch and or Chip Merriweather

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
The Crew	0	1	0	1	3	3	8	16
Storm	4	0	5	1	6	0	1	17

A's Slow Play, Kills the Storm again

 It was a clash of titans atop the WMSPL standings on Tuesday night. Storm and the A’s generally play tight games with lots of drama and a little bit of controversy. This game would live up to all expectations.

Storm batted through the order in the top of the 1st inning. Duran sprayed a single and Rene limped out a double to start the inning. The hits continued and Storm scored 4. With Captain Underpants elsewhere saving the world, it was up to Batting Practice to hold down the mound. The A’s were held to a giant goose egg in the first inning. 

Storm’s offence kept thundering in the 2nd inning as they nearly batted through the order again, and again scored four. Three of the runs came off a monstrous Joey homer. The A’s scored two in the bottom and Storm held an 8-2 lead after two. 

The third inning saw both team’s offences take a vacation as neither team was able to score a run. Storm managed one in the fourth, and the A’s found their bats, scoring three in the bottom half. Both teams scored three in the fifth.

It was the sixth where things started to get interesting. Storm went down in order. The A’s started to mash the ball. With two out Larry hit a massive pop fly. Adam said, “mine” off the bat, then changed his mind and said, “never mind, it’s out of here.” It’s unclear whether he misjudged the ball twice, or he was playing psychological warfare, as the ball hit the fence. Larry, however, had walked towards the dugout either believing the ball would be caught, or it would be a home run out. After it hit the fence, however, he turned and ran to first. The umpire called him out for abandonment. That ended the inning, quite controversially, as two runners were running and would have scored, but since the batter-runner was declared out, their runs did not count (we think, since we didn’t have a scorekeeper and were trusting the A’s to declare the correct number of runs). Either way, the A’s had taken the lead for the first time in the game.

Storm wasn’t defeated, however! They stormed back in the top of the 7th. Rene limped out his fourth double of the game. Joey hit a titanic home run and Storm scored seven, then realised time was running out and Duran and Rene took some of the worst swings you will see on a softball diamond to end the inning. Storm hurried out, but the A’s moved as if they had been frozen by Medusa’s stare. The bottom of the seventh would include some more controversy. After strike three hit the mat, the umpire said there were only two strikes. Not sure how hard it is to count to three, but this would be a very costly mistake. On the next pitch, the batter (who fully admitted there had already been three strikes) hit a line drive to left centre. Craig made a huge effort to catch the ball. He dove for it and hit the ground and screamed in pain. He stood up looking like Quasimodo. There was no way a guy like him could stay out there for the rest of the game. The missed third strike cost Storm an out. It cost Storm a player. And it cost Storm a lot of time as Craig was lying on the ground in pain. As Storm recorded a quick out, this became more important, because that would have been the second out of the inning. Instead it was the first, and Storm had no time left to finish off the A’s. Hopefully someday Storm will get a chance for revenge in a sequel to the Clash of the Titans. 

Notable Boxscores:

Rene - 4 for 4, 3 doubles, 3 runs, RBI

Joey - 4 for 4, 3 runs, 4 RBI (plus a lost 3 run HR in the inning that reverted)

Check out the new Podcast of the game as reported by;

Scoops Jockovitch and or Chip Merriweather

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
Storm	4	4	0	1	3	0	x	12
A’s	0	2	0	3	3	5	x	13

Storm pours down on Broadway in the 6th

 The curtain rises on another battle of the boards between Broadway and your favorite team in Orange those sassy Stormers.

Scoops Jockovitch here with what will be a game recap similar to my time in a West Virginian prison, brief and uncomfortable.

The back half of a back to back ( Coulas loves that spine humour) saw your Orangemen limp over to K1 after a tough loss to the Falcones de Bleu, however there would be one key difference in this game. A player that Papa D would dub “ The Missing Link” and not just because of the copious amount of chest, back and ear hair…but more on that grotesquery later.

The top of the 1st started with a resounding thud as the first two Storm batters were quickly shuffled off-stage, but a timely walk by the Gimp and a solid two bagger by the Lancer-beam gave the Missing Link his first knuckle dragging action of that day. A club was swung and both runners ran, scrambled most limped home to score.

Having rested his weary head and groin for the first game Captain Underpants was on the mound and held the bright lights of Broadway to a single run. And just to emphasize how retirement was not his cup o’ tea, Captian Underpants then scored along with 2 other pylons to take a 5-1 lead heading into the bottom of 2.

The Broadway bottom however felt the need to take centre stage and all 3 scored to close the thigh gap to a single run -5-4

The Storm saw Broadways bottom and got on top with the top 5 of their order all scoring, highlighted by the “ Missing Links” monstrous shot to left centre that probably still has residue from the plastic top of the fence it scraped - 10-4

Broadways leading men took the spotlight and scored the max 6 in their half to tie the score at a Bo Derek ( Those old enough will get this reference)

While we all imagine that beach running scene there were some defensive Storm highlites and low-lites throughout: 

Adam’s snatching a foul tip like forbidden fruit for an out

Whilst in the other side of the coin Adam seemed to feel the need to identify some long  ball’s as his own.

Back to the in-action…

The Cloudy Boyz goosed egged the 4th whilst the Big Apple thespians scored a handful plus a thumb to take the lead. ( thats 6 for those of you wearing mittens)

The 5th saw the CBz and the Broads took a Deuce  ( but not in the way your thinking, gross people) to match at a dirty dozen.

Final inning ( a surprise to all) saw the Hommes des Orange agree with Dick van Patten that 8 is certainly enough while the Theatrical Ones scored poor reviews with their rendition off good old Willys “ Much Ado about Nothing”

Make the final 20 to 12 for the Storm.

Walking away just like my 3rd divorce with a 50/50 split.

Notable Boxscores:

Brad - 4 for 4, HR, 1 run, 5 RBI

Lance 3 for 3, 3 doubles, walk, 4 runs, 3 RBI

Rene 2 for 2, 2 doubles, 2 walks, 4runs, RBI

Bob - 3 for 3, 1 runs, 2 RBI

Joey - 2 for 4, HR, 2 runs, 3 RBI

Check out the new Podcast of the game as reported by;

Scoops Jockovitch and or Chip Merriweather

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
Storm	2	3	5	0	2	8	x	20
Broadway	1	3	0	6	2	0	x	12