Storm surges in first

Storm started strong in the top of the 1st inning. After batting through the order without recording an out, Jeff hit a ball to the fence and when he approached second, saw that Dave had firmly planted himself there. He then had to stop and retreat to first. It is unclear whether Storm had already gone to base-to-base, or whether the combination of Brian and Dave didn’t feel like running, but that was pretty much the end of offense for the game. Storm scored almost as many runs in the top of the 1^st (12) as both teams combined for the rest of the game (13) on their way to a 19-6 win.While the game was out of reach pretty quickly, there were still some fun moments.

Dave was either feeling sorry for his former team, or was trying to gain some most sportsmanlike player votes. In his second at bat, he flailed at a couple of pitches fouling them off. He either fouled out (to Bob catching for Surge) or struck out depending how you want to score a third strike foul tip to the catcher. In his next at-bat he hit a sharp ground ball to the pitcher and then, instead of running to first, simply allowed Surge to throw to second and first to get the double play.

Storm might have scored some more runs if they had not gone up plus two in the first inning. Bob (who hit a home run in the first that counted) hit two more home runs later in the game for outs.

Defensively there were some fun plays as well. A short fly ball to left field saw Joey going back just to get called off by Bob, who then slid to try to avoid a collision and apparently caught the ball with his stomach.

On a ground ball late in the game, Joey went to field it, but the ball bounced up between his legs. With three balls to choose from, Joey managed to grab the correct one and throw the runner out at first.

In a less successful fielding endeavor, Craig charged hard to make a diving catch in the 6^th. He missed the ball, which then went to the fence. The relay came in and Joey threw a very wet ball to home. Dave stretched as far as he could. So far that he might not play ball again this year. He might not even walk again. But he made the catch. Only to have the umpire call the runner safe for an inside the park home run. Only to have the umpire later tell him, that, had it been a close game or a playoff game he would have called the runner out. That’s little consolation to Dave’s groin.

Notable Boxscores:

Jeff – 5/5, 4 runs, RBI

Bob – 3/5, HR, 3 RBI, 2 runs

Joey – 3/4, 4 RBI, 2 runs

Duran – 3/5, 3 runs, 2 RBI

Craig – 4/4, 2 runs

Lance – 1/3, HR, 3 RBI

HR's: Bob, Lance
HR Outs: Rene, Bob (2)

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
Storm	12	1	3	3	0	0	x	19
Surge	1	0	4	0	0	1	x	6

Storm scores a surplus of runs

With Mike and Al signed out, Jeff took the mound with an “unlimited pitch count” for the day. He got right down to business allowing only one hit in the top of the 1^st and keeping IG Wealth off the board. In the bottom of the 1^st, Storm found a surplus of hits and was able to jump out to an early lead. Jeff and Duran got hits, and then Joey smacked a line drive to right field that the right fielder made a great play on. Apparently he hasn’t read the memo that you’re not allowed to make great plays on Joey, and really you should drop some of the easy ones. Craig smacked a double (it might have been a pop up that found a hole). Bob singled and then Rene smacked a two-run homer to cap off a five-run inning.

In the 2^nd, IG Wealth tried to climb out of the deficit that had been created. They managed to get two runs. In the bottom of the 2^nd, Storm continued to invest in a victory by scoring eight runs. Dave smacked a double, and then refused a courtesy runner and made it all the way home. Kenny’s parental instincts kicked in, and he felt bad for IG Wealth, so he decided to be nice and recorded the first and third outs of the inning.

The 3^rd was a relatively slow inning for both teams, but in the 4^th, IG finally found a wealth of offense in their attempts to balance the books. They scored 10 runs on mostly clean hits, though there was a moment where Rene looked more like he was dodging sniper bullets than trying to field the ball at 3^rd. IG pulled to within two and suddenly it was a close game again.

In the bottom of the 4^th, Lance started it off with a walk, and scored on Rene’s second double of the game. Brian and Kenny followed with hits and Storm would put four more runs on the board to create some space on the scoreboard.

In the 5^th, Storm remembered that it’s more fun to get people out and blanked IG Wealth. In the bottom of the inning they filled their side of the ledger with nine more runs, including a triple from Bob and a bases clearing double for Greg.

IG couldn’t find any momentum in the 6^th and scored none. Bob led off for Storm with a line drive that appeared to have gone through the fence, but was later ruled a home run that had hit the top of the fence and gone over. Storm would score another one and go into the final inning up 30-14.

With thoughts of pulled pork and burgers running through Storm’s mind, and Dave gone home to fire up the barbecue (so we thought; in fact we found him swimming when we got to his place!) Storm has no idea how many runs were given up in the top of the 7^th. IG Wealth definitely scored some, but nowhere near the 16 they needed to win.

On a Side Note

Last writeup, Scoops mentioned that Duran was in search of a rooster to sacrifice to help improve his defensive play, and put out a league wide call for someone to give Duran their cock. It looks like someone must have given Duran their cock, because Duran made a couple of plays at second base. It must have been a small cock, though, because while the plays were made, they weren’t pretty. Duran might still be in search of a bigger cock if he’s going to handle balls cleanly and make solid throws.

Cycle Watch

Bob missed the double.

Rene missed the triple.

Notable Boxscores

Rene – 5/5, 2 doubles, HR, 7 RBI, 4 runs

Bob – 5/5, HR, 4 RBI, 5 runs

Jeff – 4/5, 3 doubles, 4 runs, 2 RBI

Joey – 4/5, 4 RBI, 2 runs

Duran – 3/5, 4 RBI, 3 runs

Lance – 2/3, walk, 2 doubles, 3 runs, 3 RBI

HR's: Bob, Rene
HR Outs: None

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
IG Wealth	0	2	1	10	0	1	5	19
Storm	5	8	2	4	9	2	x	30

Storm Clinch President's Division Title!!

Hot Air Balloons and a Rooster

Like that small red rash on you upper “inner” thigh that just won’t go away it is I Scoops Jockovitch your intrepid writer and athletic supporter who has once again been asked (forced) into the indentured servitude of using two fingers and a thumb to bring pleasure to the masses…and I may just do some typing as well.

Once again Team Tangerine bravely strapped on their spiked boots and large leather mittens to partake in yet another thrilling match of a game that always smells of the unique combination of A535 and wasted potential.

Hoping to lull the Storm into a bidding war Team Re/Max was putting the final touches on staging their dugout with fresh cut flowers and the aroma of baked cookies!

In the top of the first it seemed that Re/Max’s pitches looked like giant red, white and blue hot air balloon floating serenely over home plank to Team Agent Orange as they matched runs with that nights roster by putting a 9 on the board.

Like an  embarrassed adolescent walking to the front of the class in track pants, controversy unexpectedly arose in the bottom of the inning as the undermanned "league leaders" requested a catcher so that the outfield would remain filled with pylons.

Team re/Max was not “ Sold” on the idea but they quickly did an “Appraisal” and “Assessed the Value” of the transaction and the “Dual Agency” of the “Offer” before accepting the “ Closing costs”  though not without  an “Adjustable rate” of sarcasm.

The first inning came to a close with  Team Up, Up and Away making a slightly under market value counter offer of 3 runs in their half of the inning.

Stephanie Cliffords ( NSFW Google) favourite team delivered a goose egg in the 2nd whilst those Masters of the Adjustable Rate gave one run a small yet well appointed semi detached home.

Which brings us to the time in our chronicle where we discuss poultry.

Young-ish Storm star and Magic Mike stunt double Big D has been having a rough go lately flashing the leather. With some bad hops in the infield and off the tip ( not in the good way) of the glove balls dropping lately in the outfield, it seems that the time has come to remove the curse that has obviously been placed upon him.

And as any astute and well-learned baseball aficionado knows, the only way to get rid of a curse on a glove is to sacrifice a live rooster.

So if anyone in the league would like to offer their cock to Duran…wait…what? that didn’t come out right… Lets move on.

Top of the third brought 4 runs in for Team Daniels highlighted by a triple from Bob “ the Excel-erator” Peppler. 

The opposition seemed to be at a “ Crossroads” ( see what I did there) in there half of the inning. They scored 1, which was good. But their own player made a highlight catch behind the plate to get on out, which was bad.

The third inning was also the debut of a new player to the Storm. Playing 3rd base was a young, hip, backwards cap wearing fellow that looked a lot like veteran player Michael “ Wait un-“ Tyl (your father gets home!) but this player was full of MIKE-A-TUDE!!!

In the top o’ the fourth the Storm struck and burst the Re/Max balloon by scoring 11 with all 9 roster players getting at least 1 hit in the inning.

The Asking price was too high for the team named after a Britney Spears movie ( Love you Brit, Brit!) and the white flag was flown.

Final score 24-5

With this victory the only team that can wipe Doritos on their jerseys and no one will notice claims another season Championship!

Please fans join me, along with all the other players in the league by yawning and stating “ Let's see what you do in the playoffs!”

Your biggest athletic supporter

Scoops Jockovitch

Notable Boxscores:  

Duran – 5/5, HR, 5 runs, 3 RBI      

Bob – 4/5, Triple, HR, 3 RBI, 4 runs,

Al – 5/5, Double, 2 RBI, 2 runs 

Joey – 4/5, 2 doubles, Triple, 4 RBI, 2 runs

Lance – 3/4, 2 Doubles, 3 runs, 2 RBI

Brad – 3/4, 2 runs, 2 RBI

Mike – 2/4, two doubles, 2 RBI, 2 runs

Greg – 3/4, Double, 3 runs, 3 RBI

Brian - 2/4 RBI, 1 run

HR's: Bob, Duran

HR Outs: None

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
Storm	9	0	4	11	x	x	x	24
ReMax	3	1	1	0	x	x	x	5

Storm puts on show against Broadway

Apparently the long walk from K2 o K1 was enough for Storm players to clear their heads or shake things off, because they looked like a different team against Broadway. The offense was solid, and the defense was tight, not to mention there was some stellar pitching.

In the top of the 1^st it looked like it might be a long game for Storm. Duran’s triple was the only real sign of offense, and Storm only managed one run. The bottom of the inning, however, saw Storm get some clutch defense as they were able to hold Broadway to one run and force them to leave the bases loaded.

In the 2^nd inning Storm still hadn’t recovered offensively and put up no runs. In the bottom of the 2nd, Broadway had the chance to blow the game wide open. They had the bases loaded with only one out. A hard grounder up the middle was snagged by the pitcher and thrown home for the force. Storm then managed to end the inning without surrendering a run and forcing Broadway to leave the bases loaded for the second consecutive inning.

In the top of the 3^rd Storm found its bats. Seven consecutive hits started the inning on the inning, producing seven runs. Broadway would get nothing. Storm only managed one in the top of the 4^th, but Mike’s pitching became dominant in his second inning out there. He was one pitch away from striking out the side. That’s a rare feat for slo-pitch. The third batter hit a weak grounder to short in his effort to avoid the fate. Still, two strikeouts in an inning is an achievement.

In the 5^th and 6^th, Storm blew it open. They scored seven in the 5^th and eight in the 6^th before running out of steam in the 7^th. Still Storm won 24-2. Quite the opposite achievement to the first game of their double-header.

Notable Boxscores:

Bob – 2/3, 2 HR, 7 RBI, 2 runs

Duran – 4/4, two triples, 4 runs, 3 RBI

Jeff – 2/4, 4RBI 2 runs, double

Joey  2/4, 3 RBI, 2 runs

Craig – ¾, 2 runs, RBI

Brian – 4/4, 2 runs

Mike – 3/3, 3 runs

Kenny – 2/3, 2 RBI, 2 runs

HR's: Bob (2)

HR Outs: None

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
Storm	1	0	7	1	7	8	0	24
Broadway	1	0	0	0	1	0	0	2

The Storm got spanked and a monkey played the organ!

Scoops Jockovitch reporting from high a top my summer retreat in Nepal on the side of Mt. Meoften.

From what this reporter witnessed on a moist, humid night in the wilds of north Whitby Sunday evening the game between our intrepid Stormy boys and the only team that can be said to have beautiful plumage, reminded me of an ill fated weekend in Nevada that included a Dominatrix and a monkey.

The Storm got spanked and a monkey played the organ.

Not to be confused with spanking the monkey and a Dominatrix playing with my organ…that was in Utah and the restraining order has elapsed.

And like that lost weekend it would be painful to go into too much detail, suffice it to say what started out as an even, if highly offensive first inning soon turned into a rout by the El Halcones Azules. ( google it)

Where does the monkey come in you may ask?

Well it seems throughout history that when the defence of the Might Pylons commits an error it becomes something like I did  after a heavy make-out session with Edith Finklestein…highly contagious. 

And when the itchy rash of bad defence starts to spread a small monkey appears and begins to play circus calliope music on his organ (he’s a very flexible monkey).

** Of Note** Did you know that Falcons are a birds of prey in the genus of Falco

So needless to say the Falcons Rocked the Storms Amadeus after scoring 17 runs in the 2nd inning…Oh, did I forget to mention that those 17 came after the first 2 batters of that fateful inning had been outs!!

Le Garçons en orange ( it’s french ask Rene) tried their darnedest to mount a comeback. But like the midget said about Kim Kardashian “It was too big a hump to get over!"

A game well played by Der Kommissar with timely hits and well executed offence and a game by the Storm that Jerry Lewis would have been proud of.

HR's: Lance, Joey (2)

HR Outs: None

Boxscore
	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	Total
Storm	7	2	1	0	0	3	3	16
Falcons	7	0	17	4	0	1	x	29

Your biggest athletic supporter,

Scoops Jockovitch