Thursday, August 22, 2019

Hot Air Balloons and a Rooster

Like that small red rash on you upper “inner” thigh that just won’t go away it is I Scoops Jockovitch your intrepid writer and athletic supporter who has once again been asked (forced) into the indentured servitude of using two fingers and a thumb to bring pleasure to the masses…and I may just do some typing as well.

Once again Team Tangerine bravely strapped on their spiked boots and large leather mittens to partake in yet another thrilling match of a game that always smells of the unique combination of A535 and wasted potential.

Hoping to lull the Storm into a bidding war Team Re/Max was putting the final touches on staging their dugout with fresh cut flowers and the aroma of baked cookies!

In the top of the first it seemed that Re/Max’s pitches looked like giant red, white and blue hot air balloon floating serenely over home plank to Team Agent Orange as they matched runs with that nights roster by putting a 9 on the board.

Like an  embarrassed adolescent walking to the front of the class in track pants, controversy unexpectedly arose in the bottom of the inning as the undermanned "league leaders" requested a catcher so that the outfield would remain filled with pylons.

Team re/Max was not “ Sold” on the idea but they quickly did an “Appraisal” and “Assessed the Value” of the transaction and the “Dual Agency” of the “Offer” before accepting the “ Closing costs”  though not without  an “Adjustable rate” of sarcasm.

The first inning came to a close with  Team Up, Up and Away making a slightly under market value counter offer of 3 runs in their half of the inning.

Stephanie Cliffords ( NSFW Google) favourite team delivered a goose egg in the 2nd whilst those Masters of the Adjustable Rate gave one run a small yet well appointed semi detached home.

Which brings us to the time in our chronicle where we discuss poultry.

Young-ish Storm star and Magic Mike stunt double Big D has been having a rough go lately flashing the leather. With some bad hops in the infield and off the tip ( not in the good way) of the glove balls dropping lately in the outfield, it seems that the time has come to remove the curse that has obviously been placed upon him.

And as any astute and well-learned baseball aficionado knows, the only way to get rid of a curse on a glove is to sacrifice a live rooster.

So if anyone in the league would like to offer their cock to Duran…wait…what? that didn’t come out right… Lets move on.

Top of the third brought 4 runs in for Team Daniels highlighted by a triple from Bob “ the Excel-erator” Peppler. 

The opposition seemed to be at a “ Crossroads” ( see what I did there) in there half of the inning. They scored 1, which was good. But their own player made a highlight catch behind the plate to get on out, which was bad.

The third inning was also the debut of a new player to the Storm. Playing 3rd base was a young, hip, backwards cap wearing fellow that looked a lot like veteran player Michael “ Wait un-“ Tyl (your father gets home!) but this player was full of MIKE-A-TUDE!!!

In the top o’ the fourth the Storm struck and burst the Re/Max balloon by scoring 11 with all 9 roster players getting at least 1 hit in the inning.

The Asking price was too high for the team named after a Britney Spears movie ( Love you Brit, Brit!) and the white flag was flown.

Final score 24-5

With this victory the only team that can wipe Doritos on their jerseys and no one will notice claims another season Championship!

Please fans join me, along with all the other players in the league by yawning and stating “ Let's see what you do in the playoffs!”


Your biggest athletic supporter

Scoops Jockovitch


Notable Boxscores:  
Duran – 5/5, HR, 5 runs, 3 RBI      
Bob – 4/5, Triple, HR, 3 RBI, 4 runs,
Al – 5/5, Double, 2 RBI, 2 runs 
Joey – 4/5, 2 doubles, Triple, 4 RBI, 2 runs
Lance – 3/4, 2 Doubles, 3 runs, 2 RBI
Brad – 3/4, 2 runs, 2 RBI
Mike – 2/4, two doubles, 2 RBI, 2 runs
Greg – 3/4, Double, 3 runs, 3 RBI
Brian - 2/4 RBI, 1 run

HR's: Bob, Duran
HR Outs: None

Boxscore

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Total
Storm
9
0
4
11
x
x
x
24
ReMax
3
1
1
0
x
x
x
5

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